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About Deviant Kelsi RossFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
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How to know, who to grow.
I like it here, I feel like i'm home.
But which home is this supposed to be?
Im starting to sit outside again, waiting to come inside.
I didn't think that would happen again. I'm not supposed to wait outside, of my own home.
Is this the home that makes me feel free and inspired or is this the feeling of my old home where my feelings were convoluted and squashed down until nothing. Until I started waiting outside in my car until i could muster up the courage to walk through the door without faking a smile.
No one wants to do that. Feel like they have to put a new mask on when they walk through their own door. A person should be able to strip off all of their layers of camouflage when they take their first step through the entrance at the end of their long day.
Its not supposed to be like this.
Not this way. Not for me.
Not again.
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 0 0
travel. by kelsiross travel. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 1 0 don't upset it. by kelsiross don't upset it. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 1 0
When I looked at you my stomach did flips
and then my soul saw you and so did it.
It said, "here we go, i've been searching for this."
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 3 0
before i leave by kelsiross before i leave :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 3 0 so happy you could die by kelsiross so happy you could die :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 1 0
now you're just somebody that i use to know.
No one can make me as happy or as sad as you.
You can make me smile so easily, but sometimes when I pass you in the hall, my heart caves in on itself.
It's like you tape me all together with a couple band-aids, and break me into a million pieces at the same time.
Without effort, you can destroy or complete me.
I walk passed you without saying a word because I do not believe that there are any words to justify the way you make me feel.
Confusion. It's definitely confusion.
I want to dislike you so bad, but it's almost like if I hated you, it'd be hurting myself, not you.
I don't even think I want to hurt you.
I don't even know if I could try.
All I know is you meant a lot to me,
and that you're very hard to forget,
not only because you still mean the world to me,
but because you've given me so much to remember.
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 1 0
starts with j
I loved you with all of my heart
but i won't tell you that.
It's not fair to either of us.
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 0 0
stay away misery. by kelsiross stay away misery. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 0 0 Believe in me. by kelsiross Believe in me. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 3 0
Each summer is somehow its own lifetime.
When August arrives,
Hot and full of things you wished you had done,
All the places that defined summer when it began to melt together..
The sand that got stuck between your toes,
Your tangled hair,
Bug bites that you can't help but scratch and slap when it gets too painful..
The smell of every warm wind and the view of each sunset, as it slips away behind the mountain,
The songs that echo out your car windows
And the memories that haunt you,
Trying to live up to this summer's expectations.
You loved,
You laughed,
You ate,
You swam,
And you smiled.
The summer will come back next year,
Without fail.
And we'll cheers to what memories, next summer, will entail.
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 1 3
They listen, when you're dead.
It's funny, but not funny, that how when I'm dead.. people finally start to listen to me.
And I get that you'd think that I had thought, maybe people would appreciate me if I was gone.
Because its proven that I'll get more attention.
People who didn't even know me, feel the sorrow and pain of those who did.
Like you.
There's something about the nostalgia of death and the empathy you feel when you want nothing more than to be able to get me back. You need me closer because through all of your might and strength, you wish that I were there.
You have have never felt something so horrid, and something such a part of life before, that you can't even think of what to do next.
It captivates you,
and you wish so bad that you could switch places with me, so you were here and I were there.
I know if you would've known the mental state that I was in, you would have jumped in front of that train to save me.
But you can't blame yourself.
That was my decision.
I chose to leave this earth.
I chose to
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 3 4
You left a mark.
You left a mark on me.
You didn't strike me,
You didn't hit me,
You didn't try to knock me down,
In fact.. You didn't lift a finger,
But you left a mark.
You left a mark so big that I might as well dig my heart out of my chest and staple it to my sleeve because that's how you left me..
With my heart pouring out to you, begging you to grab the nearest cup and fill it to the brim with my dripping emotions.
You left a mark on me.
You didn't yell at me,
You didn't scream at the top of your lungs,
You didn't preach your hatred for me,
But you left a mark.
You left a mark so big that I might as well release my eyes from their sockets and hold them out towards you because that's how you haunt me..
With my eyes wondering and searching for another sign of your return because really, everywhere I look is filled with you.
You're all I see.
You're all I hear.
You're all I smell.
You're all I taste, because the slightest reminder of you can captivate my senses and leave me coll
:iconkelsiross:kelsiross 2 0
hang ten. by kelsiross hang ten. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 0 2 let it shine. by kelsiross let it shine. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 2 3 siblings. by kelsiross siblings. :iconkelsiross:kelsiross 0 0


Some place you've gotta be
I know that when you go, I'll find you by the sea
there's no place that you'd rather be
I know that when you go, you won't stop to look at me
there's always some place you've gotta be
That night in the park, as we stared and we counted stars
as they shot across the sky
They shot pain into my heart, as we lied there in the dark
because I knew it was a matter of time
I thought that I had seen two collide, but they went on their separate ways
as they faded into the black
and that's when I felt it deep inside, that we were kind of the same
and that you wouldn't be coming back
I know that when you go, I'll find you by the sea
there's no place that you'd rather be
I know that when you go, you won't stop to look at me
there's always some place you've gotta be
there's always some place you've gotta be
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 2 0
Forgetting November
I was one day short of drinking for a week straight.
The mysterious cuts and bruises that riddled my aching body were probably a mirror reflection of my insides.
My stomach was a poisonous swamp of poor decisions and lack of impulse control
while my liver was the poor whipping boy for the sins my nicotine stained hands had committed.
As my lungs seethed and surged trying to take in the stale, smokey air around me, my bloodshot eyes scanned the tomb I had locked myself away in.
Empty cans littered the small glass table; cigarette ash still clinging to their rims.
A stack of instant ramen bowls carelessly placed inside one another leaned precariously, threatening to
spill the last few unsavoury drops of days-old kimchi at a moment's notice.
Dusty pillows were stuffed into the windows to prevent even the smallest mind-numbing ray of light from entering this
wretched place and disturbing my state of decomposition.
Slipping what remained of my cigarette into one of the many beer cans
I rubb
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 0
A BPD Gemini
I am the loathing and lonesome
but ever-yearning
I am the searching and sorrowed
but never learning
I am the careful and composed
but ever-alight
I am the friendly and followed
but never tonight
I am the hopeful and heartful
but ever-somber
I am the today and tomorrow
but never longer
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 3 2
Swansong for SPKL
For her I died
I cried
I flew to the edge of hell
To escape her spell
Of sickening love
This cursed dove
Who shone through plight
With all her light
Beckoning me to join her lead
To drink her poison
Her malicious mead
Grown through the years
I knew this dame
Held back by fears
I hid my shame
But what I yearned
Was to grasp my lips
Upon her hips
Of decadent sway
Atop her horse she sat with grace
Adorned with crimson satin and lace
I don't know why I feared her hand
She's the most beautiful in all the land
Perhaps I fear the end to come
Would be in pain and a hellish flame
The torment she gives me will be long
For this is her swansong…
:icondustynwrhensley:DustynwrHensley 1 0
Hollow tears are now shed
Laying alone in a cold bed
Once filled with loving emotions
Replaced with dark and lonely notions
A poisoned maggot left to writhe
A pitiless shame left alive
Ridiculed and blasphemed
Parasitic and evil it seemed
Abused through endless time
Yet frozen like a gothic mime
So much pain envelopes him
Merely here for their whim
A fucking joke this life to live
'Cause all he does is give and give
Returned with cruel empty love
The messenger a blackened dove
Exhausted of this torturous game
Life and pain are one and the same
Venturing through this solemn abysm
Endured with the help of masochism
Appears as if humans are sadists
Suffering created by friends that made this
This being that's now an empty insect
A thorax devoid of love and respect
Possessing only cynicism and dread
A rotting corpse walking among the dead
Drifting through the heartless masses
A cold tear falls as each minute passes
Transfixed in a stupor of miserable agony
Praying to god he'll send someone
:icondustynwrhensley:DustynwrHensley 1 0
I would keep the moon
If it meant that she could have
One more sunny day
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 0
Incoming by JaclynTanemura Incoming :iconjaclyntanemura:JaclynTanemura 61 14
I lit my smoke with trembling hands but the shaking never ceased.
Who knew how long we stood there staring at you.
I might have never fixed such a gaze.
I thought that maybe if I stared long enough I'd never forget.
But lately, your last chapters have been hazy.
Nobody wanted to speak it -- dead was such a dangerous word.
It carried a permanence that none of us wanted to come to terms with.
So instead we danced around it to your funeral hymns
and stared blankly in whichever direction asked for our attention.
A sea of sad faces dressed in black slowly shuffled out of the grey building,
like oil draining from a machine.
I thought for a moment that maybe I had been a machine too, on account of the way I was feeling.
Because it wasn't that I was overwhelmed with feelings,
it was that I was overwhelmed by my absence of feelings.
I wasn't sure what I felt, let alone if I felt.
I stepped into the car and tossed what was left of my cigarette.
My grandmother's heartbroken eyes spoke what wor
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 3 1
When Silence Is Comfortable
Listening to the static,
while your heart beats erratic,
mine is enigmatic
Running through the street,
telling everyone I meet,
that this heart it only beats
for you.
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 7 2
My hopes go down with the sun and
my tears come with the rain.
My fears come home in the evening
to shock me back to life again.
My rusted lungs creak shut and
their embers are my hearth.
My maps are blurred and soaked in blood,
and now I don't know where to start.
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 0
The Birds of Summer
We danced our dance and drank our wine,
but we never thought the reasons why.
We loved our love and shared our beds,
but we never stopped to check the time.
We sinned our sins but now we pray,
that the birds of summer fly back some day.
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 2
Lace and Pearl
To all the girls with lace and pearls
who will spin and twirl
in my dreams
To all the birds that sing the words
of the songs we heard
on the radio
To all the lakes and coffee breaks
the beautiful mistakes
I need to
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 0
The Cow's Bell
Laying there
in your cold bed
I stopped a moment
to rest my head
I thought of the past
and the steps we tread
We shared the dark
with love unsaid
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 2 0
Dreaming of Alaska and You.
Your eyes slowly begin to open.
Light filters in as you try to adjust
to the morning sun.
As things start to take shape you see a cluttered writing desk;
a warm coffee sitting on loose paper steams
and sends a calming aroma through the cold morning air
filling the room.
Outside a window the sun is coming up
over the mountains,
waking up the snowy lake
and painting the cold trees.
Your eyes take focus on him now.
He stands there overlooking the lake
out the window, cigarette in hand.
He takes a drag.
He looks back to the bed
and smiles.
:iconiitz-z3r0:iitz-Z3R0 1 0
Destination by IvanAndreevich Destination :iconivanandreevich:IvanAndreevich 2,404 63 Big dipper by spinklefinkle Big dipper :iconspinklefinkle:spinklefinkle 8 0


I broke my elbow today.


kelsiross's Profile Picture
Kelsi Ross
forever isn't far, It's coming soon.


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spinklefinkle Featured By Owner Oct 19, 2012
Thanks for the fav on my tent image. =)
PinkMaterial Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for the favs! <3
breathinginthestars Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2012
thanks so much for the favourites, my dear. : )
estallidos Featured By Owner May 6, 2012   Writer
thank you for the favorite!
eibhilinnn Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2012  Student Interface Designer
Thank you so much for the favourite! :heart:
bIoo Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2012   Photographer
Thank You!
darkkinder Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2012
Hey Happy Birthday! :party:
breathinginthestars Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2012
thank you for the favourite, darling. : )
lemontea Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Howdy. What's up?
estallidos Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2012   Writer
thank you for the favorite!
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